preparing your partnership

There are many life changes that come with a baby's arrival, and marriages/relationships are challenged in new ways. There are countless topics that naturally come up during pregnancy (breast or bottle? Will we circumcise or not? Which car seat/stroller is the best?) but there are also lots of less common - yet crucially important - conversations that should be had as well. Having these discussions before baby is here allows you to get on the same page and will benefit you both as a team in the long run:
-How will we deal with sleep deprivation?
-The role of grandparents/family and any boundaries 
-Night wakings and feedings (it's not uncommon in the first couple weeks to need both parents alert and awake during feeds while breastfeeding is becoming well-established.
-Self-care and time to myself that doesn’t include baby-related activities
-How to know if my mental health is being impacted, and how to talk to me about it 
-How to build a support system: who will we let in, and under what circumstances? (How many people do we have in our lives that we can truly count on for non-judgmental support? Who can we rely on to come over with food, immediately put in a load of laundry, and not bat an eye at our messy house and unbrushed teeth?)
-Partner’s role in daily routine/cleaning/cooking
-Sexual/intimacy expectations
-What do I need every day to feel like myself? (This might look like a hot cup of coffee in a quiet room every morning, a 15 minute shower or putting on makeup daily. For my sister, she needed to change out of her pyjamas every day and wear "normal" clothes. Recognize what your "thing" is and ensure you continue to get it after baby is born. Many women say they feel lost or like a different person postpartum, and when all your focus is now on this tiny human, a new mother's needs can quickly and quietly get swept under the rug. This is why it's so important to continue doing the little things that make you feel like YOU)

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